I was certainly much happier years ago when I believed in theism/polytheism. I was indoctrinated as a child to believe that our world and our history of incredible violence, tyranny, injustice, warfare, genocide and human suffering was created by a loving God who was good and that there was a great battle between good and evil going on, and that eventually, over time, good would triumph over evil, but as I grew older it seemed to me that religious evil was part of the problem of our world and that the world's most profitable and popular gods were themselves definitions of evil.
I almost never suffered from depression when I was atheist, but unfortunately, I now suffer from an almost constant depression which I have to almost constantly fight, though, in terms of my personal life, I have very little to be unhappy about, I am semi-retired and I live a relatively comfortable life and I share my life with someone whom I love very much.
I seem to spend much of my time on the Internet discussing political and religious evil and it does not give me any sense of happiness; perhaps a sense of purpose, but certainly not happiness; I find the exercise of discussing political and religious evil to be extremely depressing. Sometimes I often wish I could be an optimistic theist again, but I simply cannot; human reason forbids me.
The history of our world is that of tyranny, violence, slavery, injustice, warfare, genocide, religious, political and economic evil and incredible human suffering. I live in a quiet village which is much like the Hobbit world, and the suffering of the world comes to me only from news reports. It scars me; it scars my mind and I exist in a state of depression, existential angst and mental suffering which I find myself trying to constantly fight and it is a battle I am losing. Sometimes I take a week off the Internet where I post rarely and just drink a lot of alcohol and get stoned, but when I come down from that the angst returns once again.
All is full of war and human suffering.
Author: Martin Black
Admin's Note: I'm thinking that you have to find the energy or a reason for living happily. But the reason isn't like a divine duty. This is just life, we can try be satisfied and, enjoy the colors of life. I'm believing to god, but this god isn't like a white beared man watching us from the sky and holding a magic staff. I believe that the universe is God. Because universe doing everything, like giving a life and, collecting the dead parts to build something new from them. This is just my belief (Pandeism).
But if you aren't believe something, this is cannot be a reason for feeling bad or something. Just live.
